The neurotic needs are as follows:
1. The neurotic need for affection and approval, the indiscriminate need to please others and be liked by them.
2. The neurotic need for a partner, for someone who will take over one's life. This includes the idea that love will solve all of one's problems. Again, we all would like a partner to share life with, but the neurotic goes a step or two too far.
3. The neurotic need to restrict one's life to narrow borders, to be undemanding, satisfied with little, to be inconspicuous. Even this has its normal counterpart. Who hasn't felt the need to simplify life when it gets too stressful, to join a monastic order, disappear into routine, or to return to the womb?
4. The neurotic need for power, for control over others, for a facade of omnipotence. We all seek strength, but the neurotic may be desperate for it. This is dominance for its own sake, often accompanied by a contempt for the weak and a strong belief in one's own rational powers.
5. The neurotic need to exploit others and get the better of them. In the ordinary person, this might be the need to have an effect, to have impact, to be heard. In the neurotic, it can become manipulation and the belief that people are there to be used. It may also involve a fear of being used, of looking stupid. You may have noticed that the people who love practical jokes more often than not cannot take being the butt of such a joke themselves!
6. The neurotic need for social recognition or prestige. We are social creatures, and sexual ones, and like to be appreciated. But these people are overwhelmingly concerned with appearances and popularity. They fear being ignored, be thought plain, "uncool," or "out of it."
7. The neurotic need for personal admiration. We need to be admired for inner qualities as well as outer ones. We need to feel important and valued. But some people are more desperate, and need to remind everyone of their importance – "Nobody recognizes genius," "I'm the real power behind the scenes, you know," and so on. Their fear is of being thought nobodies, unimportant and meaningless.
8. The neurotic need for personal achievement. Again, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with achievement – far from it! But some people are obsessed with it. They have to be number one at everything they do. Since this is, of course, quite a difficult task, you will find these people devaluing anything they cannot be number one in! If they are good runners, then the discus and the hammer are "side shows." If academic abilities are their strength, physical abilities are of no importance, and so on.
9. The neurotic need for self-sufficiency and independence. We should all cultivate some autonomy, but some people feel that they shouldn't ever need anybody. They tend to refuse help and are often reluctant to commit to a relationship.
10. The neurotic need for perfection and unassailability. To become better and better at life and our special interests is hardly neurotic, but some people are driven to be perfect and scared of being flawed. They can't be caught making a mistake and need to be in control at all times.
As Horney investigated these neurotic needs, she began to recognize that they can be clustered into three
broad coping strategies:
I. Compliance, which includes needs one, two, and three.
II. Aggression, including needs four through eight.
III. Withdrawal, including needs nine, ten, and three.
She added three here because it is crucial to the illusion of total independence and perfection that you limit the breadth of your life!
In her writings, she used a number of other phrases to refer to these three strategies. Besides compliance, she referred to the first as the moving-toward strategy and the self-effacing solution. One should also note that it is the same as Adler's getting or leaning approach, or the phlegmatic personality. Besides aggression, the second was referred to as moving-against and the expansive solution. It is the same
as Alder's ruling or dominant type, or the choleric personality. And, besides withdrawal, she called the third moving-away-from and the resigning solution. It is somewhat like Adler's avoiding type, the melancholy personality.
A special Thanks go to Prof. C. George Boeree. Persönlichkeitstheorien - Karen Horney 1997, 2006
Our Behaviour Profiler System is not concerned with neurosis or neurotic behaviour.
Based on Karen Horney's 3 Coping Strategies, we have reduced the 'exaggerations' (neuroses) to natural normal human behaviour. But this leaves us with the 3 coping strategies as a combination and not as either / or consideration of man. This means that, as a human, we are a combination of Compliance, Aggression, and Withdrawal. Our system measures the degree of influences of these three behavioural influences and how they express themselves in our human behaviour.
For this we use a Self-Assessment.
The latest research in neuro and behavioural science provides substantial confirmation of the foundation of the
Personality-ABC. The development of human behaviour is strongly influenced by the basic need for safety and security. (Basic anxiety). Therefore humans cope in different ways to satisfy this basic need in order not to get “hurt”. Horney defined that we develop our personal way of coping with life in early childhood. The three personality and behavioural influences in our system, which we illustrate in our
Personality-ABC Index (BPI), has 794 variations and measures the exact strength of the influence of those 3 coping strategies.
For ease of reference we have used the colours
YELLOW for Compliance,
RED for Aggression and
BLUE for Withdrawal to represent them.